(The content from this post was originally aired as a YouTube video on January 4, 2021.)
Have you ever found yourself reacting or, even overreacting to something someone said only to find out later that you misunderstood? Or, even worse, did you ever get angry, frustrated, or hurt but what someone said but didn’t find out to way later that you assumed they meant it one way, but in reality, they were having a bad day and said what they did in a different tone of voice or used the wrong words from what they really meant?
If you’ve never experienced this, then this video doesn’t apply to you. For all of the rest of us who do this regularly, if not daily, then watch this video and find why it’s always better to “assume positive intent”. If you’d rather read, the transcript is below the video.
Good morning.
This is the first work day of 2021 and I wanted to just take a minute and talk about what I mentioned in the Happy New Year video I did on New Year’s Day, the new beginning.
So, now is the time to think about that new beginning. What most people think about is change. Too often, though, we think about trying to change someone else. I would challenge each of us today to recognize, acknowledge, and accept the fact that we can only change ourselves. We can’t change anybody else. If we don’t think we can change ourselves, then I think we’re doing ourselves a disservice.
Also, I think we should look at changing our attitude and our perspective about things. I learned a concept in some of the management training and leadership training that I participated in over the years in my professional career in the corporate world. The one thing that stood out was “Always assume positive intent.”
So, what does that mean? That means when anything occurs when anyone does something or says something, we automatically frame it in a context of our understanding. Many times that context may take into account prior situations that we’ve experienced with that individual or prior experiences we’ve had with someone else in a similar situation and we had a point of view on the other person’s motive or why they were doing it or what their objectives were and what their attitudes were about it. We transfer that over to this current situation.
Well, the concept of “always assume positive intent”, when something occurs, you should automatically assume positive intent rather than negative intent from that individual. Then you will frame it in that context. That’s not to say that you’re going to always be correct or be right. They may not have always meant positive intent, but think about what it does to you internally.
Assuming positive intent, then you go. “They meant such and such, but they’re saying in a different way than how I would have said it or that carried the meaning that you would have expected it to have.
So let’s start this year with that as the first thing that we consider embracing — that is always assume positive intent and allow that to frame our interpretation and the context and the point of view under which we interpret what occurs. Now, that’s not to say we shouldn’t be vigilant but, just from an internal perspective, we have the opportunity to begin to try to change ourselves from within. I believe what we’ll discover is, as we change ourselves from within and then out because what comes out as it comes from within, we’ll see that other people will change around us as well.
So have a great 2021! I hope this is a great start for you. I hope it’s a great start for me. I hope it’s a great start for all of us.
Until we meet again, God Bless and have a great day!
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